I don't have a picture to share today. Just some thoughts... almost everyone who reads my blog knows me and knows about my health trials in the last few years. I think one of the reasons that I have been doing and going and planning and trying to grow so much in the last few months is that i feel like i finally have my life back and have so much time to catch up on. I have been reading this blog lately: Posey Gets Cozy. Today i read this post: March 5th followed by this one: an aniversary. This was so inspiring to me because i was able to see how someone who has been through so much and struggled was able to use that to create a beautiful life and allow it to make her "bloom". (I especially understand her comments from the anniversary post about her husband helping her use a bedpan as my precious husband, david, helped me to the bathroom and emptied nephrostomy bags in the middle of the night so many times. And although she says that they joke about it now, i don't think we are to that point yet.. not far enough removed.) I don't want to be bitter (i am to a degree) that those years were stolen. I want to make the most of the time that i have and be a better person because of what i have faced. So many of you helped me through this time: My sweet mom slept on the hard wood floor of my living room when i came home from the hospital last time and did a thousand things that i can't even count or be grateful enough for, Jeanne (my mother-in-law) helped me shower (not something i expected to ever happen, but honestly it wasn't weird to me at the time at all) and brought food, Granny and Papa have brought so many meals (nourishing, comforting meals) to my house that i honestly could not count them if i tried, my friends: rachel, valerie and their husbands who prayed with david and i, family members and friends who sat with me and listened to me say the same things over and over because i couldn't remember one moment to the next, Melissa and Ann at work who gave me some of their vacation time so that i wouldn't have to worry, Anna and kim who braved cleaning my house which i believe is the true exhibition of love (those of you who know how messy i am... know), the cards and flowers... etc. Thank you for helping me... i hope that i can continue to grow out of this time and eventually bloom into someone beautiful.
